Looking At: The Division


We’ve all had those conversations with our friends. We’ve all actually came up with a real plan for each other in the event of a apocalypse! I have, you have, my wife has, my nephew has, my dad probably did, and I bet you the president has a plan for an apocalypse. My friends and I would always talk about this. What weapons would we carry, what our movement plan is, shelter, and anything else that goes with survival. I thought we would make an epic team, but now– I can finally put our theories to the test. I can finally test the limits of our friendship and teamwork with Tom Clancy’s The Division.

The first time I saw the gameplay for The Division, I fucking praised the gaming gawdz. I dropped to my knees and pulled out my debit card yelling, “Take my money Ubisoft! Take all of my money and take my soul!” I literally thanked the heavens for an MMO shooter for consoles. With PC gamers being “blessed” with the survival MMO Day Z, and a plethora of MMO RPGs over the years; I got kind of jealous. Then they slap me across the face with a game that says, “Hey you! Do you want to play WoW? Do you want to play Day Z? Do you want to not spend money on a high end laptop to play an MMO RPG? TAKE A LOOK AT THE DIVISION.”


The Division is inspired by Operation Dark Winter and Directive 51, real-world events which “revealed how vulnerable we’ve become”; society has become “fragile” and “complex”. In the game a disease that spreads on Black Friday wrecks the U.S. with its stripper butt germs, cocaine, and shame. This causes the U.S. to collapse in five days. The player is a part of a group called “Strategic Homeland Division” or SHD–or The Division.. which is short for “bad-ass”. This group was formed to combat the threat, and do whatever it takes to “save what remains” in a massive multiplayer online situation. Which means you’ll be shooting AIs with your friends, and fighting to survive against (or with) other players.

The Division takes place in New York City, which I think is gonna be dope, because New York City IRL is booming with so much life that I think it would be a big warzone to actually survive in against other players, and against the AIs. It’s a 3rd person shooter with RPG elements, so the system kind of reminds me of Mass Effect and Ghost Recon had a baby. Visually stunning. Watching the trailer and seeing the snow fall and the environment around me made me feel like I was actually watching this shit happen in New York. The graphics are beautiful, and I expect no less from a next gen console. The shit that got me is the fact that you can control a drone from your tablet. You can leave the game for a little bit, get on the toilet, and control a drone to help your teammates. With the drone you can tag enemies for your teammates, and shoot predator missiles at the people you get into engagements with. This game was originally for next gen consoles, but PC gamers asked for it too. They always get what they want, so Ubisoft blessed PC gamers with the game as well. 


Like I said, I’m really stoked to have a MMO RPG Shooter make its way to consoles. With shooters being a popular thing in console games, and survival being a huge obsession since The Walking Dead; it only made sense to bring The Division to consoles. I was also really excited to have a game where you can play something with you friends online that didn’t involve kill streaks, TDM, and COD in general. This is the game that is gonna help me decide which friends I want to keep during and apocalypse, and even help me determine whether I’m ready for an apocalypse. With the upsides, usually come the downsides to releasing this game for consoles. This game might be Rated M, but I am almost sure that every parent in Murica will ignore the living shit out of this; that’s just how society is nowadays. There will be kids playing this game, and depending on their online maturity; they could either make the game fun or ruin the experience like they always do *cough* COD *cough*. One thing I also observed is the fact that trolls still exist. I’ve witnessed it on Day Z— during the beta where players were dying left and right, because other players thought it was fun to snipe noobs instead of killing zombies. I fear that this could be a problem with The Division on a different and more epic scale than Day Z. You are looking at console gamers, and I don’t mean all of us, but let’s be for real– console gamers are douchebags. Not all of them are gonna let you progress in this game. You’re bringing a shooting game that looks like it requires a little bit of maturity to a bunch of gamers who are getting their kicks from fast paced 1st person shooters like COD or Battlefield. I think since the option to fuck up another player’s day is available, it’ll be used more than the option to complete a mission. I also really fucking hope that Ubisoft doesn’t get greedy with power, and makes it so that you can buy these OP weapons and gear on some WoW shit. I hate that about new-age gaming. You can buy an OP weapon for $50 on the online store, but you have to fight long and hard to get an “OK” in-game weapon. I feel that we need to get away from that aspect of gaming, and just make the game fun with secrets and all the other good shit. Although I am excited for the game, I’m also worried that Ubisoft is baiting me on some bullshit. I feel like they’re luring me to their white van with the promise of good graphics and candy, and as soon as I reach for it–I get kidnapped.. never to be seen again.

Overall I may have my worries about the game, but I am actually pretty stoked for this game. I’ve been waiting for a good game with an open world to explore with friends, and my prayers were finally answered. The Division is slated to drop in the 4th quarter of 2014, hopefully they don’t push the date back like a line-up. Now I want to hear from you! What are you most excited about for The Division, and what are you worried about? Comment below!

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I’ve been hitting Nintendo pretty hard since this deployment. It’s probably the fact that we have nothing to talk about, so we talk about anything. Sure, Nintendo just released Pokémon, but no matter what they do with their main console; they always fuck up everything. No matter how hard I try to defend Nintendo, they do shit like this. Constantly putting out bullshit at big events. I know I may be behind the times right now, but you can’t blame me; I’m deployed. When I first heard about the Cranky Kong announcement at the Video Game Awards, I lost my shit. Out of all the things you could’ve announced, you announce Cranky Kong. For some of you youngsters out there who didn’t get to play Donkey Kong Country, Cranky Kong is the old ass monkey at the beginning of the game who cranks the old ass record player. He is also the monkey you constantly run into to save the game. in DKC1 and 2. I never thought about Cranky Kong as a child. I never wanted to play as him as a child. It never ever eeeeevvveeeerrr crossed my mind like, “Oh man it would be so cool to play as this old ass monkey.” But Nintendo insists that this is a great idea, and the gaming community would love to see Cranky put in work. This brings me to my next topic, could this be the warning signs that Nintendo has reached its limits as a competing console in the new generation?

Now, from what I remember growing up, I’ve always been a Nintendo kid. My mom was the one who actually turned me into a video game addict. If it weren’t for video games, I probably would be doing heroine or bath salts right now. I’d probably be spending time in the glass pipes, instead of helping Mario get down these pipes..no homo. I owned the consoles running up to the N64, and during that time when the 64 came out- it seemed like every kid has to own one. Every kid played Nintendo, until every single kid in my neighborhood decided N64 wasn’t on par with PlayStation. Nintendo and PlayStation were competing at this point. The glory days when kids were repping consoles like they were gangbangin’. The evidence of this beef was pretty real..I was playing “Hey You, Pikachu!” on N64 when it came out. I said “PlayStation” into the mic out of boredom, and Pikachu literally lost his shit. He wasn’t talking anymore, he didn’t want anything to do with me, turned his back on me, and I was like, “Fuck you too, you little bitch wa’nt no one trinna play witcho ass anyway.” That last part didn’t happen, but you do have to apologize to Pikachu before he starts fuckin’ with you again. THAT WAS SOME REAL SHIT. Nintendo was not fuckin’ around with PlayStation! I owned both consoles at the time, and never really had a biased towards either system. But no lie, A lot of shitty games were getting released on the N64. I found myself playing more and more of PS1, and less and less of N64. However, the one thing Nintendo has always had, was Pokémon. So, I always played Pokémon, but I played a lot of PS1 too.

Back then I would have never seen this as a pivotal point with Nintendo, but I definitely felt it when the PS2 and XBOX came out. Soon, I totally forgot about my N64. I disregarded the Gamecube. I didn’t miss out on some awesome games that they put out thanks to friends who owned Gamecubes, but I betrayed the shit out of Nintendo. This is when everyone was saying that Nintendo was a “child’s console”. Sooner or later people stopped holding Gamecube to the same standard as XBOX and PS2, especially after the release of XBOX360 and PS3. Correct me if I’m wrong, but I do believe Nintendo was in talks about the Wii, yet at the release of the 360 and the PS4; Nintendo was still stuck on Gamecube. Nintendo did make a comeback, They finally released the Wii, and it was a big hit. Nintendo started targeting younger gamers, and made the Wii family oriented. Gamers who loved Nintendo asked for more. They wanted to see more LoZ, more Metroid, more Star Fox (lol), and more Super Smash Bros. Nintendo finally beckoned to the call, and released some good fucking games. Among those games, Legend of Zelda: Twilight Princess stood out. Holy fuck did I love that game. I dedicated my life to that game at one point, as did others, I’m sure. It even won Game of the Year. I really thought Nintendo was gonna make its comeback, but soon that light would fade.. Nintendo would go back to its shitty ways. Nintendo did have its spurts (lol) of success, Donkey Kong Country was a huge hit. After Street FIghter made side scrollers cool again, Mario was a big hit. Like I said, they had their moments. Then another big “FUCK YOU” to Nintendo was said by Microsoft and Sony; the XBOX ONE and the PS4. Nintendo’s counter punch? Wii U.

This is where the violins and sad music cue. Nintendo has been making shitty decision after shitty decision. They released the Wii U, but they were not doing these things that XBOX and PS were doing. I won’t lie, Nintendo has put out some good fucking games, but fans keep asking for the same shit that XBOX and PS have. It’s like fans want something, and Nintendo does the complete opposite thinking life is all good in the gaming universe. No. No the fuck it’s not dammit. 2013 is closing, and Nintendo keeps playing that sad tune. Wii U sales are doing poorly. They decided to release the new Mario game the same time as the XBOX ONE- praying for a miracle. Nintendo has been making some really shitty decisions lately, and they will not stop. Shit like Cranky Kong being a playable character will not save Nintendo. The only thing saving Nintendo right now, is nostalgia and childhood dreams. I really fucking feel like I am gonna live to hear the children laughing at my beloved Nintendo being forced to become a 3rd party company, because Nintendo doesn’t know how to get their shit together. I’ll be 40 y/o and some punk is gonna be taking to his friend saying, “Hey, you heard that kiddie console Ninten-low-on-dough became a 3rd party company now right?” They’ll laugh and I’ll say, “HEY! If it weren’t for NINTENDO you pussies wouldn’t have your XBOX1080 and PS7s!” Then they’ll laugh and point at me, “LAWWWLOLOLOOL STFU OLD TIMER! YOU NEED TO TAKE YOUR MEDICINE NINTENDO AIN’T SHIT.” Then they’ll rob me and probably steal my car.

Look, I’m not a Nintendo hater, I love Nintendo. Nintendo has brought me so many memories as a child, and is the reason for me playing games today. That’s why I want to see them do well. I want them to keep being Nintendo, keep putting games out, keep making consoles, and keep introducing kids to timeless characters and gameplay. It is true that the games they put out (sometimes) are amazing. They are fun, but with Nintendo basically being out of the running in next gen consoles; my nightmare could be a reality. If they keep putting out bullshit info, and actually put info out that everyone can be excited about; there could still be hope for Nintendo. I’m really hoping that 2014 will be a good year for Nintendo, because shit isn’t looking too good for them.