D&D Story and Review

As said before, I played D&D with the people in my unit. I was almost late, but the Dungeon Master was running pretty late today too. I’m not gonna lie, I was still pretty stoked to try something new. A total of seven people showed up for this event, there was pizza, and we were all laughing about the possibility of me kicking in a door- using it as a surfboard and killing all the enemies. That laughter soon died down. This game suddenly became real, and the dice gawdz were not there to save me.

We spent an hour and a half helping everyone get their character sheets together, so no one was over-powered. It wasn’t bad, we bonded as a group. Like I said, that soon pretty much ended. My character was a fighter class (Warrior) true neutral. I made it so that I could do whatever I wanted, and not held back by stupid alignments. Our journey started. I was in the southern region headed north, when a hobbit ran into me. We travelled together since we were going the same way, when suddenly, we were met by some warthogs. We got fucked up. It was so bad. Three boars, and we were pretty much down for the count. DM gave us a chance, and made it so that these boars were no longer interested.

Me and my hobbit homeboy make it into town, battered and bruised, screaming for help. We make it to Jolly old St. Nick’s home. We meet up with two other characters, and have our HP restored. Santa has a task for us. He has the ability to heal us with his magic cookies and milk, but he wants us to find his elves, who have been abducted, leaving one elf; Herby. Now in my mind, I already knew which elf that was. I already pieced together that Herby was that dentist elf. Before we left to see Herby, we get presents from Santa. Everyone rolled for a chance at a gift from Santa and receive their gifts- all except me- I didn’t receive shit, because I couldn’t roll higher than a 14. I was fucked from the beginning.

We go to Herby’s house and knock on the door. Herby invites us in, but he wants to work on our teeth. I ask Herby for proof that he is a certified dental hygienist, and I’m kicked out of his fucking house. So the other character hops in the chair, and he checks her teeth. All is good. We ask for information on the elves, and Herby says he’ll tell us if he gets to work on all our teeth. I get fucked again. I have to get a teeth removed before I can venture any further. I do it, and Herby asks to come with us to fin the elves. My hobbit homeboy says yes. I say no. I do not like Herby.

We venture with Herby anyways, because he knows where these elves went. He takes us to a cave, and we enter. We search these fucking caves, and all hell breaks loose when we run into hobgoblins. These Hobgoblins fucked us up. We had no good rolls, and the DM kept getting good rolls. We eventually kill these hobgoblins, and we call it quits for the day. I was fucking mad as shit.


D&D is a fun game- in theory. They give you the stuff do play, and the DM creates the story for you to play. The Christmas Story is a good story so far. It was like Kingdom Hearts with Christmas characters. I wouldn’t be surprised if we ran into Jack Frost, Frosty, or The Yeti. However, the enemies, for how weak they should have been, were too OP. We had to roll a 15 or higher to defeat the hobgoblins, and a 12 or higher to beat the hogs. I don’t think we’ll be winning this game anytime soon, with how strong these enemies are, and how much EXP we receive (received 60 EXP for defeating the hobgoblins, and it’s 1000 to lvl up.)

The people I played with are, straight up, comedians. It was fun, and we were all generally new at the game, so the atmosphere was pretty light. When conversing in characters, it almost made for a better comedy than a serious adventure. I love dialogue, so when in character, I made fun of everyone’s character. What makes this game, IMO, is the fact that you have to be in he same room with these people to play. It was pretty social, and I laughed with people that I would not laugh with in a professional environment. So D&D gets me for that.

The major things I didn’t like were the dice and the DM. In order to have a good game of D&D is to have a good DM. You don’t want one that is too easy on you, but you don’t want one that makes it so hard that you can barely get past a common monster. I literally could not get past these hogs, unless the DM would have fucking let these hogs roll out. And the hobgoblins…the amount it took just to hit them, was boss level. Even as a beginner, I knew that these creatures were too damn OP. Another thing that kind of annoyed me, was how much XP it took to actually level up. Holy shit, 1000? And the two hobgoblins I killed only gave me 60xp? I wanted to flip the fucking table so bad. So when you play with a DM, make sure that they have set up a fair, and balanced game. The dice were another thing. I didn’t like that some things were left to chance, and the probability of some actions were too low to be achieved. For example, I didn’t receive a cool weapon like everyone else. I asked “Santa” to look into my heart for some good, so I may receive a weapon. He accepted, but the probabilities of me receiving, I had to roll higher than 17 on a 20 sided die. Again, nothing wrong with the dice, it was the DM’s choice. However, if you have no luck with dice, like me, you could get royally fucked like I did.

Overall, I like the game, but there’s too many variables. You could have a good DM who is fair, or you can have a DM who is out to fuck you. You could get some really good rolls, or you can get really shitty rolls. I do like the fact that you have to use your imagination to make shit happen, and I like how social the game is, despite the bad things said about D&D through the years. I can say this- playing the game beats watching that god-awful movie.

I would recommend people who are already within the nerd/geek/outcast culture to at least try D&D if they haven’t yet. It’s a really fun game, if you play with the right people. You could either have a really good experience, a shitty experience, or a so-so experience. Either way, it definitely is a “try at least once” thing. I won’t be done playing yet, we meet next Saturday to continue the story. I, on the other hand, will hopefully come across some rope. I’m going to tie the rope around myself, and hang myself from a cliff- ending my character’s life, so that I no longer have to live in a world where I miss a hobgoblin 15 times before I even injure him.




Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )


Connecting to %s